stupid stories (IRL)

[RX Queen]

So, we all know that the boys are kinda spesh. And sometimes, we have encounters that remind us of this. post them here!



since it's a quasi-festive story, I'll kick off with how Voltaire described making X-Mess Detrius with Gerard. V and I were both pretty wasted when he decided to tell this story, so it might not not be entirely accurate, but it entertains me. and since Voltaire likes to tell the story with dialogue and dramatic reenactments, it's relayed best via scenario!

Voltaire is sitting in his studio in NYC, just finished animating 'X-Mess Detrius".

Voltaire: hmm.. I need someone to narrate this. I should call Gerard. I haven't seen him in a while, and I don't think he's touring. :calls Gerard:
Gerard: hey dude, what's up?
Voltaire: hey, I'm making this short film and I need a narrator. You in?
Gerard: OH MAN YES. When do you want to do this?
Voltaire: uhhh... idk. I'm free thursday afternoon. Want to come over?
Gerard: sure!
Voltaire: K. see you then.

So thursday rolls around and Gee shows up and he's looking a little tired and but he's really excited about recording, so Voltaire doesn't say anything until they take a coffee break.

Voltaire: you look pretty wiped. Wanna just finish this another time?
Gerard: nah, I'm just jet-lagged.
Voltaire: I didn't think you were touring! when did you get back?
Gerard: Oh! I didn't tell you? I moved.
Voltaire:....?
Gerard: ... to Los Angeles.
Voltaire: ....!??!
Gerard: :]
Voltaire: why didn't you say something? you could have recorded this at home!
Gerard: ..... I... I miss you :]
Voltaire:
Gerard: I miss New York. I was due for a visit.
Voltaire: Oh, ok. When are you flying back?
Gerard: tonight.
Voltaire:....
Gerard: :]
Voltaire: so you flew six hours to hang out in my studio for a couple hours, and then you're going to fly six hours back?
Gerard: pretty much... yeah. :]


voltaire closed out the story by looking at me and saying "that boy. he's pretty..."

"Special?" I offered.

"I was going to say retarded, but that works, too."

And here's X-Mess Detrius for those who haven't seen it: www.imdb.com/video/wab/vi4038394905/

sometimes I forget that Voltaire actually does things other than get drunk and sing sexually inappropriate songs about sci-fi. haha. he's a pretty cool dude, though.

[Laurie]

That is probably the best story ever. Voltaire just got 50 more cool points. Which put him at 150. xD I have X-Mess Detrius downloaded because Gerard's voice was so calming. xD

I have a couple weird stories that involve the boys. xD

So at Warped Tour in 2008... or was 09... I can't remember. But me & Razzle were together. So yeah. I was wearing the "The Black Parade is Dead!" Tshirt with the boys & the WTTBP float on it. And I got talked to about MCR twice at two different band booths. xD

So first, we met From First To Last, which at the time I was excited. xD So this happened..

Me: Hi there!
Derek Bloom: Hey. -sees MCR shirt.- OMG I SAW GERARD & HIS WIFE IN LA.
Me: ; Oh did you? -hands thing to be signed.-
Derek: Yeah. -signs.- I didn't know they lived there. I wasn't sure if it was them, but it was.
Me: D: THEY LIVE THERE NOW?
Derek: -hands back thing.- Yeah. You didn't know that?
Me: Last time I checked they were living in New Jersey.
Derek: Well they're living in LA now.
Me: Oh well.
Derek: I just never thought I would just randomly see them.
Me: I don't think anyone would.
Derek: Yeah.
Me: It was really awesome talking to you, Derek. Thank you.
Derek: No problem.

To be honest, he was the nicest one. The other guys were jerks, and Matt was a big douche. I was very let down by this. Fast forward an hour and we're at the merch booth for Dillinger Escape Plan.

Me: -staring at Tshirts.- I'm gonna get one, I just don't know which one.
Razzle: -buying CD & Tshirt.- Hmmm.
Merch guy: -sees my MCR shirt.- Oh, man.. My Chemical Romance.
Me: Yep.
Merch Guy: I used to work for them.
Me: Oh really?!
Merch Guy: Yep. The guitarist is getting married. Ray, I think is his name.
Me: RAY AND CHRISTA?! Really?!
Merch Guy: Yep. They're awesome dudes. I could tell you some stories.
Me: Do tell!
Greg Puciato: -walks up.- Oh! MCR!
Me:
Razzle: You guys dressed as them on SURS!
Greg: ! YEAH WE DID! That was fun.
Me: That is awesome. I must see this.
Razzle: D: YOU DIDN'T SEE IT?!
Me: NO! D:
Razzle: Shame.

And then Greg proceeded to pick out a tshirt for me to buy. xD

Best crazy stores WITH MCR in them are the best... Here's some concert highlights I had.

Me: -sitting in line next to Hannah at the Pageant in St Louis for MCR-
Bob: -walks past.-
Hannah: -nudge.- There goes Bob.
Me: Bye Bob. -wave.-
Bob: -makes it to the end of the line, toward the starbucks.-
Fans: -realize Bob just walked by.- OMIGOD BOB! -chases.-
Bob: !

Poor Bob. I wish that didn't happen, but it did.

[RX Queen]

haha yes, Voltaire in an incredibly excellent dude. I've met him enough times that he remembers me, but can never remember my name so he just calls me 'Tits' since that's what my friend Kristie called me when she was pointing me out to him.

at the same show as that conversation I posted, I accidentally volunteered myself to go up on stage and sing 'Blood!' with him, which was sort of how the conversation started. It was the drunkest I've ever been in public, and I'll never ever drink like that with him because stupid, embarrassing things happen. we were stealing sips from eachother's drinks and bickering like a married couple in front of about a hundred people. it was nonsense.

aanywho. so. I'm sitting on the floor about three rows back from the stage (the show was in a sushi bar and there wasn't really a 'stage', just an area of the dining room with lights aimed at it). And V starts telling us about how he just did X-Mess Detrius and how he knows Gerard from the old NYC/NJ goth scene and he's a cool dude, etc etc.

V: so on the plane ride home (from some film festival on the west coast or something) I tried to learn this song and I'm probably going to fuck it up but I'm going to try it anyway. Who here is willing to admit that they like My Chemical Romance?
::silence::
Me: oooh, bullshit. There is NO way I'm the only one here who listens to them. You're a bunch of liars.
::everyone laughs::
V: You! tits! get up here.
Me: uhhhh no.
V: Someone make her get up here.
Me: WHAT? NO!
::strangers at table behind me haul me to my feet by my elbows::
Me: I'm NOT singing.
V: get up here.
Me: Nope.
::strangers start pushing me. I drunkenly stumble over the people on the floor in front of me and end up in the 'stage' area.::
Me: Hey! knock it off! you almost made me spill my drink!
V: ::steals drink and takes sip, looks repulsed, gives it back:: what the hell is that?
Me: Rum and coke.
V: no, I have a rum and coke. that's death.
Me: They ran out of captain, so it's black seal.
V: oh my god. you're insane.
Me: nope. just a determined alcoholic.
V: ::starts playing guitar:: Ha. Ok. So I would totally already be singing but I don't remember the first line. Help me out here.
Me: Uhhh.... fuck. I don't remember how it starts.
::sound tech starts laughing at us::
Me: do YOU know the first line?
sound tech: yeah.
Me: ...... care to share?
sound tech: nope.
Me: well, fuck it, I'm sitting back down.
V: oh no you don't! :: grabs my corset lacing when I try to walk away::
::awkward silence except for V playing the first few bars of Blood! on loop::
Me:..... oh wait! I've got it!
V: Go for it :: pushes mic stand in front of me::
Me: oooh, no. I'll tell you it, but I'm not singing it.
V: you are EXTREMELY difficult when you're drunk, do you know that?
Me: you want the line or not?
V: fine.
Me: "well, they encourage your complete cooperation."
V: is that it?
Me: pretty sure.
V: k. ::sings, gets to second verse, stops:: gonna need a hand here.
Me ::sips drink and bats eyelashes, obviously stalling::
V:...?
Me: "A celebrated man amongst the gurneys."
V:....?
Me: "they can fix me proper-"
V: "with a bit of luck!" ::finishes song::
Me: well, that was painful.
V: Yeah. Thanks for totally not helping. ::Hug, kiss right on the mouth, slaps my ass when I try to walk offstage:: I think Tits earned a round of applause anyway. Let's hear it!

I pretty much hid under the table behind me for the rest of the show until I got dragged BACK up for "Death, Death" but like ten of us got up for that and everyone actually remembered the words so it was nowhere near as painful. He closed the show with it and then we ended up having the conversation I mentioned earlier before he retreated to his merch table and I stood out front, breathing on the window and drawing dicks until my friends were ready to leave and he came out for goodnight hugs.


I know I wrote down what happened when I met the boys at URI but I can't find it! gonna have to comb the text files on my external hard drive for it.

[Laurie]

Omg. xD That's so amazing. I'm actually contemplating being plastered when I meet the boys. 1) So I won't be nervous and shakey. 2) Because I don't know about my other vice and their feelings on it, though NJ & California have both legalized it... for medicinal purposes. xD 3) Because it will be fun cause I will also film it. xD

[RX Queen]

I could never get drunk in front of the boys. I'm a very affectionate drunk, and if I was nice to Mikey, I'd never forgive myself. I HAVE A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD!

frank has admitted in interviews that he was stoned out of his mind pretty much every day when he was your age. I don't think they'd judge.

[Laurie]

That's true. Considering a lot of substantial evidence I have that points to the conclusion they may not mind at all. xD But drunk sounds nice.

I'm a funny drunk, never been too affectionate... though, I've been known to agree to stupid things. xD "Hey, we're all going to my apartment! Let's go!" "Okay!" A few mins later.. "Where is everyone?" "Huh? Its just you and me. Lets do this." "Oh.... Okay." xD "Hey wanna go to my place?" "Oh, okay. You have to drive though." "I know. I only had one beer, don't worry." "I had a lot." "I know." Later on the road.. "OH MY GOD THE LIGHTS ARE ALL CRAZY! SLOW DOWN!" "I'm not going fast! Calm down! You're drunk." "HOLY SHIT. THIS IS INSANE."

So yeah. I say a lot of "Oh, okay." and "HOLY SHIT." xD So I'd imagine they'll get a kick out of me. xD